Roxas In Wonderland!
by kittyjordz
Summary: well read the title its funny, its sad, its magical, its me bored!
1. Welcome to Wonderland

(An: Ya ok Shoot me. I had this idea the other day while slightly intoxicated. It should be short and sweet and to the point. A drabble if you will lol. Enjoy read and review and yell at me for being a dum dum with updates :P)

Disclaimer: I own nothing sad to say 

"Roxas pay attention to your studies! Do you really want your grades to fall?" Olette said harshly as she kicked her friend in the shin. Roxas snapped out of his dream like state and placed a small smirk onto his face.

"Sorry I'll pay a bit more attention now." He said. Olette smiled and continued to read him a passage of "Through the Looking Glass." Roxas felt himself grow restless and bored yet again. As he was just about to close his eyes and slip into dream land again a mouse dashed past him wearing a waist coat and carrying a massive KEY! Now this was by all standards of any world odd!

"Hey, Mouse, wait up!" Roxas shouted jumping up and chasing after the giant mouse. Olette didn't even seem to budge as he dashed after the mysterious mouse. He seemed to chase that funny mouse all over the huge field he was in, that was until he watched as the mouse popped through a giant mouse hole shouting one phrase over and over again.

"O Gosh, I'm late! She'll kill me for sure!" and with that the mouse popped into the hole. Roxas, curioser then any cat could have been popped right in after him! And o what crazy sights awaited him within!

Roxas was FALLING! We're talking like massively high fall….only at a super low speed. It seemed like hours…poor Roxas was even more bored here then he had been with Olette…at least she was pretty to look at…here there were only strange cupboards and old musty books.

"Man, this really sucks!" Roxas said unhappily. He noticed a cookie jar and grabbed it excitedly. At least he could eat something. After all he had skipped lunch again. "I'm sure no one will mind." And with that he proceeded to eat the entire contents of the cookie jar.

More time passed as Roxas kept falling. This was beginning to get ridiculous. How fucking deep was this damned hole anyways? Roxas looked down and just as he did he felt gravity rip at his body and crashed heavily into a big wooden bed, its mattress having been removed for cleaning.

"OUCH!" Roxas shouted. As he stood up he proceeded to rip out all of the splinters from his poor sore butt. The poor blonde haired kid was in quite a bit of pain you can imagine! But he was still hell bent on following that Damned mouse! He noticed a shadow on the wall of the hall that attached to the room he was currently in, it was indeed the giant mouse! Roxas jumped up and began to swiftly follow the mouse's silhouette.

Roxas entered another room this one had a door in it. He approached the door just as he saw the mousse tail disappear through it. He gripped the door knob and heard a bellow of pain!

"OOO MY NOOOOOSH!" the door knob shouted. Roxas jumped 6 feet back and let out a rather girly scream of surprise.

"You. You can talk?" he asked the door knob. It sniggered and nodded its key hole. "Well then open up would you, I'm chasing that giant mouse with the key!" Roxas shouted back. The key hole sniggered once more.

"Why should I do that?" the door knob said arrogantly. Roxas growled. Stupid door knob… well he'd sow that piece of wood and brass who was boss. Roxas pulled out his trust Swiss army pocket knife. "Wha…What are you going to do with that?" the door asked…anxiety working its way into his voice.

"Why, I was just going to carve my name into your lovely door frame, that is unless you let me through you…" Roxas said as he smirked and inched closer to the door. It swung open instantly and ushered him through.

"Have a nice day sir!" said the door as it proceeded to slam shut. Roxas laughed whole heartedly. He took in his surroundings. It was like he had entered a giant forest! It was breath taking. He decided to try and find his giant mouse on the double, that damned door had already made him lose so much time!

"I wonder where he could have gotten to!" he said to himself. He approached what appeared to be 2 waxwork figures. One of a duck and the other a dog like thing. "Tweedle Goof and Tweedle Don… right-o then. WEIRD! I mean who leaves wax work figures out in the day's heat?" Roxas commented. To this the two figures seemed to come alive!

"If you think we're wax work, you ought to pay you know?" Tweedle Don said in a sort of quack like sound.

"Course, if you think we're real you ought to speak to us too GORSH!" Tweedle Goof replied. Roxas was completely taken aback and actually fell over laughing. Both sported ridiculous looking sailor suits complete with funny little hats.

"Really sorry guys, you just didn't look real in those screwy get ups." Roxas said honestly. The two Tweedles seemed a bit angered by this.

"Hey, Blondie, we got a story to tell you. It's called the Heartless and the Keyblade master. Listen up and listen good!" Don said.

"The heartless and the Keyblade master were sworn enemies.

The heartless liked to steal hearts, the keyblade master liked keys

They fought and fought all across the earth.

Just to defend what each party thought, ought to be their turf.

The Keyblade master was so great, although he was but one.

The heartless were so numerous, his battle was not fun!" Tweedle Goof began.

"Out numbered 10 000 to one, he fought ever on.

From morning to night, afternoon to evening, even dusk till dawn.

He fought bravely all the time, and then one day you see.

He discovered their world of dark, and saved you and me.

He shut the door with massive courage, shut it forever more.

Thanks to him we're all safe, because he shut that door.

The moral of the story is quite plain to see,

No matter how hard something gets, never give in you see!" Tweedle Don finished. Roxas sat still. What an….interesting tale to say the least. A tale of heartless keyblades and not giving up. These guys must have had wax for brains to come up with something as messed up as that!

"Next, how about we tell him the story of the Walrus and the Carpenter?" Tweedle Goof suggested. As they began to sing Roxas snuck quietly away from the insane duck dog duo.

"That was really much too close… they were MAD! I mean like messed in the mind, wacky, zonky, coo coo, INSANE!" Roxas shouted to himself. What if he never found that stupid mouse and got stuck here forever and became just as crazy as them!

As he proceeded on the forest seemed to get denser and denser around him. What other crazy adventures would be awaiting him as he traveled further into Wonderland? Find out same bat time, same bat channel. Err I mean find out next update :P

(Read review and enjoy :P)


	2. Enter The Weirdness!

(An: bahhh sorry kill me I SUCK! But im back Muse n all to begin a new I hope read review and enjoy!)

Roxas ended up in the middle of a large clearing. There were paths all around him. The poor blonde haired kid was so lost he felt all hope of ever finding that damned mouse leave him as the dread of being stranded in this strange land crept into his very essence….

"SHIT! Where is that damned giant mouse! He could have gone down ANY of these paths and there must be millions of them!" Roxas wailed. Suddenly, without warning, a small group of really tiny girls appeared in front of him. Roxas let out a very girly scream and collided with the dirt on the ground. The tiny girls proceeded to laugh uncontrollably, minus the gothic looking one in black; she just grumbled something about death metal music.

"You're a funny kid ya know that?" the blonde pixie said laughing. Roxas simply pouted. He had a very distinct dislike towards these pesky fairies.

"Rikku be nice! It's not his fault we did startle him. But that was pretty funny." The brunette said smiling kindly.

"Yuna, Rikku, you two are bumbling morons. Now we were sent here to help this dumb kid out so let's do that and get back so I can listen to more Marilyn Manson and contemplate death." the Goth said monotonously.

"Paine you're no fun! Alright kid we're here to help you out. So follow this path." The blonde said pointing to the left path, "and you'll meet up with some people who most DEFINITLY can help you out. Ok let's GO!" and with that the three tiny pixie chicks disappeared, leaving poor Roxas a million times more confused then before.

* * *

Following the path, Roxas could hear singing. Not your average singing mind you. CRAZY singing. Sighing deeply he proceeded towards the commotion. A small café like house stood there waiting for him, deciding that this could not possibly be any stranger then talking wax for brains dogs and ducks and even little pixie chicks, he made his way towards the café.

What he saw SHOCKED and disturbed him. There sitting at a large table set for a tea party was two warrior looking men and a tiny moogle. Roxas slapped his hand to his head. Dear lord what the HELL was this!

"A very merry unbirthday to me, to me, a very merry unbirthday to me!" the two men sang joyously. Roxas snuck as stealthily as he could towards them. He happened to knock over several potted plants as well as crush a glass slipper on his way alerting them immediately to their party crasher.

"HARK! Who goes there!" the blond warrior man asked. Roxas, being clearly found, moved towards the table a mock smile on his face. He was in BIG trouble now.

"Hey, I'm Roxas…I'm a bit lost and these fairy things told me to come here." He said, cursing the pixies inwardly. "I heard you're…err…wonderful singing and had to just take a look for myself." Roxas lied. The two men smiled, the moogle simply nodded sleepily.

"We don't get many admirers… I'm Cloud, the Mad Hairer, and this is my friend, the March Squall. It's our UNbirtdays today!" Cloud said. Roxas gave the two men a quizzical look. "Oh and this little guy is the DoorMog." He said pointing to the sleeping moogle. "He's Catatonic. Sorry."

"What's an UnBirthday?" Roxas asked.

"Why, an unbirthday, it's well…he doesn't know what an UNbirthday is! Can you believe that! Alright March Squall give him the Oxford dictionary definition then!" Cloud the mad Hairer said.

"An unbirthday is defined as the following according to Oxford: everyone has a single birthday however there are 364 other days of the year. It is on these days of non birthday that one can and will have an Unbirthday party with friends and pets." March Squall said smiling as he closed the large hot pink book labeled 'DikTionnnery'.

"Well it's my unbirthday then too!" Roxas exclaimed. The two proceeded to grab him and slam him rather roughly into a chair. They all proceeded to enjoy a lovely cup of tea. After about 15 minutes or so the giant mouse Roxas had been searching for appeared carrying the large key. The Mad Hairer Cloud and the March Squall stopped him wishing him a happy Unbirthday and grabbing his huge key.

"Why Mickey Mouse, this key is exactly 2 days late! We'll have to fix it won't we Cloud?" Squall yelled happily. The two men began to rip the key apart! By this point the mouse had already turned ghostly white and fainted. He began to recover as they began to fill the now opened key with the following.

"Alright Cloud. Butter! Tea, Vanilla, Coffee, Triple Scoop Mocha ice cream, 4.5 chocolate chip cookies and a beaver please!" the March Squall yelled. After 3 minutes all the afore mentioned items had been put in and the key suddenly began to bounce and groan and jump. All parties began to scream like little girls and run in all directions.

"MAD KEY! MAD KEY!" and pulling out a giant buster sword and a giant gunblade, the two mad warriors began to destroy the giant key. The mouse white as a ghost ran off in terror. Roxas sat, still sipping his tea and watching the show laughing all the while. Noticing the mousse exit, he proceeded to follow all the while still giggling.

* * *

Poor Roxas had lost sight of his large mouse once more. He was getting rather tired of this game of cat and mouse…err scuse the pun. He ran and ran and ran but to no avail, it was like that damned mouse had completely vanished from this wacky place!

Roxas, not watching where he was walking now…managed to walk right into the font door of a small cottage. Lurching in pain, he proceeded to make sure he was alright. After that, he looked around himself. This house was sitting right in the middle of no where. Thick forest enclosed it. Seeing no one around, Roxas entered the house.

"HELLO! Anyone in here? Anyone even live here?" he asked. The house was much smaller inside then one might think. The kitchen also doubled as a living room, dinning room and even a laundry room! Such a house Roxas thought. There on the kitchen table/living room couch, was a box. Inside this box Roxas discovered the most delicious looking cookies he had ever seen. Being the greedy boy that he was. He proceeded to eat every last one. Then he felt the most peculiar of sensations. He was SHRINKING!

(Next update SOOON!)


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